Iterating on Light and Dark

Yes, indeed, we are (as a society) due for some form of earth (nay, existence) shattering event:  the kind that strains apart the very fabric of civilization, leaving nothing but the frayed, tattered ends of culture to pine for its once lustrous, cohesive weavings.

Indeed, we are due for an apocalypse, and truly, there are only several kinds of apocalypses we could realistically have:

• Astronomical apocalypse:  bodies from space destroying us all
• War-related apocalypse:  weaponized bodies launched from earth that fall from space to destroy us all
• Zombie apocalypse:  deceased bodies searching for brains to destroy us all
• Robot apocalypse:  metalized, mechanical, soulless bodies bent on destroying us all

Let’s air on the side of realism here and eschew the first two:  I mean, the likelihood that we’ll all die by meteor is, well, astronomical, and if we haven’t managed to kill ourselves already (we had such a quaint acronym for this - “M.A.D.”, which was actually quite ironic if you think about it, and I’m not sure if its creators were very clever or simply oblivious) I’m sure we’ll somehow survive.  Oh no, gentle reader, the truth is, the only realistic apocalypses to be had are either robotic or zombiatic in nature.  In today’s essay, I will describe how Google ™ has demonstrated the only truly concerning apocalypse is of the zombie variety (and thusly, driven me to buy a shotgun).

(continue reading…)

I’m typing this while watching an “original” movie, though it might just be a “presents” sort of scenario:

Lake Placid 2

I have to once again admit to appreciating the original movie, the one that was actually released in the theaters.  That was amusing, entertaining, etc.  So far, this “sequel” is about as bad as it gets.  I’m disappointed in Cloris Leachman for starring in this movie.  Special bonus for being the marquee name, listed as “…and Cloris Leachman” at the end of the opening credits.  While we’re at it, shame on Sam McMurray and John Schneider.  Shame indeed, especially for Sam McMurray’s terrible “accent”.

Things that are bad so far:

• Acting
• Line-reading
• Clear over-dubbing
• Script
• Faux-letterboxing
• Sets
• Editing
• Soundtrack

What’s not bad:

• The SciFi channel bug in the lower right hand corner looks pretty tidy
• Time between commercial breaks isn’t too long

I like all sorts of sci-fi.  Not just because I grew up on things like Knight Rider and Star Trek.  Science Fiction plays towards my nerdy tendencies - the likes of which I can’t pretend to hide given the fact that I have so many blogs, work in the Internet industry, prefer riding scooters more than motorcycles (and sold my last motorcycle), and have a Wii, PS3, PS2, DS, and PSP sitting on my home theater right now.

No, I’m a nerd, and I like scifi.  Hell, look at my DVR list:

• Fringe
• Terminator:  The Sarah Connor Chronicles
• Dollhouse
• Battlestar Galactica

But, that’s not really much a confession these days - hell, tons of people like scifi related things.  The real confession here is that I like SciFi Original Movies.  I know, I know, but hear me out… (continue reading…)

While I can’t say I should be proud of this, there is an update to this whole “epic break FAIL” thing:

Aaron’s bike doesn’t actually work as intended, either. I feel better, as terrible as that sounds. Mostly because it means, as schadenfreude suggests, I feel as if not just my work was in vain slash for not.

Aaron was trying to fix his gears and stop them from slipping out of gear, he tore it apart, put in new gears, etc., and it’s still misbehaving.

Our bikes are broken, and they’re being assholes about it. Excellent.

Aaron and I reassembled our bikes.

His works fine.

Mine’s still suckin’ air from somewhere. EPIC FAIL, unfortunately - spending 3-5 days rebuilding a bike and still having it exhibit the exact same problems it had before.  Weird.

How anti-climactic, and frankly quite upsetting.  I had a lot of hope and excitement built up around this, and lo - it didn’t work.

I’ve got a few ideas left but honestly, this bike has officially pissed me off beyond recognition.  As Aaron put it, “I want to fist-fight your bike.  I would like to anthropomorphize it and punch it.”

Indeed.